BEFORE
AND AFTER
BEFORE
AND AFTER
"I wonder what goes through his mind
when he sees us peeing in his water bowl."
"In order to keep a true perspective of one's
importance, everyone should
have a dog that will worship him and
a cat that will ignore him."
How did the dog make anti-freeze?
He stole her blanket.
Why
did the dog go to the doctor after a tomato fell on his head?
The tomato was in a can.
Why do dogs lie down?
They can't lie up!
A house without either a cat
or a dog is the house of a scoundrel.
"Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good
book, and a woman. Then if you can get
the dog to go somewhere and read
the book, I might have a little fun!"
How is a dog like a penny?
They both have a head and a tail.
In a perfect world, every dog
would have a home and every
home would have a dog.
"If you feed your dog a chip be prepared to stock up."
"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive
evidence that you are wonderful."
l
I know that dogs are pack animals, but it's difficult to
imagine a pack of standard poodles. and if
there was such a thing as a pack of standard poodles,
where would they rove to? Bloomingdales?
"The difference between cats and dogs is, dogs come
when they are called, cats take a
message and get back to you."
"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he
will not bite you; that is the principa
l difference between a dog and a man."
"No man can be condemned for owning a dog. As long
as he has a dog, he has a friend; and the poorer
he gets, the better friend he has."
"You may have a dog that won't sit
up, roll over or even cook breakfast,
not because she's to stupid to learn how
but because she's to smart to bother."
How is a cowardly dog like a leaky faucet?
They both run.
Blessed is the person who has earned
the love of an old dog
Acquiring a dog may be the only
opportunity a human ever has
to choose a relative.
Why
do dogs turn around three times before lying down?
One good turn deserves another.
Q:
Why did the dog become a motorcycle cop?
A: He wanted to chase speeding cars.
How do you make a dog float?
Take two scoops of ice cream, a
couple of squirts of soda and a small dog.
Q: Which breed of dog
can make you yell "Ouch"?
A: The Doberman pinscher.
"Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job."
"I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they
give unconditional love. For me they
are the role model for being alive."
COLLIE
