TO MAINTAIN JOLLIE HE COMES

IN every TWO WEEKS,

 bath, maintance and grooming

What kind of dog sniffs out new flowers ?
A bud hound !

What did the dog do when a man-eating tiger followed him?
Nothing. It was a man-eating tiger, not a dog-eating one.

    What do dogs have

  that no other animal has ?

    
    Puppy dogs !                             

What do you call an alcoholic dog ?
A whino !

What is a dog's favourite sport ?
Formula 1 drooling !

What is a dogs favourite flower ?

Anything in your  garden!

 What's a dog favourite hobby ?  Collecting Fleas!

WHAT I ASKED FOR, WHAT I NEEDED

When I got my new dog

I asked for strength that I might rear her perfectly;
I was given weakness that I might feed her more treats.

I asked for good health that I might rest easy;
I was given a "special needs" dog that I might know nurturing.

I asked for an obedient dog that I might feel proud;
I was given stubbornness that I might feel humble.

I asked for compliance that I might feel masterful;
I was given a clown that I might laugh
I asked for a companion that I might not feel lonely;
I was given a best friend that I would feel loved.

I got nothing I asked for,
But everything that I needed.
I got a dog

Why is it called a "litter" of puppies ?
Because they mess up the whole house !

How do you stop a dog smelling ?
Put a peg on it's nose !

When does a dog go "moo" ?
When it is learning a new language !