What do you call a dog with no legs ?
It doesn't matter what you call him, he still won't come !

How do you feel if you cross a sheepdog with a melon ?
Melon-collie !

What do you call a black Eskimo dog ?
A dusky husky !

Why did the dog have a gleam in his eye?
Someone bumped his elbow while he was brushing his teeth.

Why do dogs run in circles ?
Because its hard to run in squares !

How do you find your dog if he's lost in the woods ?
Put your ear up to a tree and listen for the bark !

Eleven dogs shared one umbrella, yet none got wet. How did they manage?
It wasn't raining.

How can you tell a dog from a jar of peanut butter?
The shaggy dog doesn't stick to the roof of your mouth.

How can you tell a dog from a tomato?
The tomato is red

How can you tell a dog from an elephant?
The elephant remembers.

How did the dog feel when he lost his flashlight?
Delighted.

How did the dog make gold soup?
He put in 24 carrots.