STRIP, CLEAN FACE, SHORTENED EARS
STRIP, CLEAN FACE, SHORTENED EARS
Dear Dogs and Cats,
When I say move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions
with each other so there
are still two of you in the way.
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food.
The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing
a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a
claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find
that aesthetically
pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a race track.
Beating me to the bottom is not the object.
Tripping me doesn't
help, because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry about this.
Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your
comfort. Look at videos of dogs and cats sleeping, they can actually curl
up in a ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other
stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know
that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging
out the other end to
maximize space used is nothing but sarcasm.
My compact discs are not miniature Frisbees.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom.
If I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary
to claw, whine, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge
and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door
I entered. In addition, I have been using bathrooms for years,
canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.
